Today seems to be a really bad day. Not that any have been good lately. Yesterday I started to cry because I was extremely jealous of my wife. I love her hair and would give anything to have real hair like hers. She hates it because of me. I have always been a fanatic about her hair and she would love to cut it off.
Today I started to cry sitting at the gas station because I saw this absolutely gorgeous woman getting gas. She was a beautiful blond with long hair and a cute white shirt with a black vest. She looked about 40 something and definitely a mom but still drop dead gorgeous to me. I was overwhelmed with jealousy knowing that I could never be anything like her.
I miss my wife terribly but I cannot let go of the girly things that I love. I want to go home tonight and fix my toe nails. I want to get dressed and go for a walk as Michelle.
My stomach has been queasy for 2 days now because my wife says we should "talk" this weekend about what we are going to do. It has been 3 months now and she wants to resolve our separation.
All I could think of this morning was the show "Ghost Whisperer" with Jennifer Love Hewitt. At the end of every show, the ghost walks off into the distance and just disappears.
I am really to the point where I just want to disappear into the background and never show up again.
Tennis Anyone?
1 year ago
