tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.comments2021-03-06T16:13:54.732-05:00Michelle <br>Finally living as the girl inside!Michelle Leannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03974476216062970448noreply@blogger.comBlogger147125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-27277799181795575322013-09-14T04:05:26.667-04:002013-09-14T04:05:26.667-04:00Hey, I just wanted to say thanks for your recent u...Hey, I just wanted to say thanks for your recent updates... I was actually worried something had gone horribly wrong... Glad things are more or less OK for you.mtoal8882https://www.blogger.com/profile/17007550678827965166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-62934040754482892772013-02-15T21:03:38.535-05:002013-02-15T21:03:38.535-05:00Once of the funniest stories I've heard in awh...Once of the funniest stories I've heard in awhile. "The Creeper" lolTGirlhttp://www.imatranny.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-27671222429587344242013-01-12T02:28:32.164-05:002013-01-12T02:28:32.164-05:00Glad to hear about more win for you. Keep your hea...Glad to hear about more win for you. Keep your head up. And as far as name badge versus license discrepancy... any thought to changing your name yet? <br /><br />Marcymtoal8882https://www.blogger.com/profile/17007550678827965166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-42732125393547787832013-01-08T18:05:55.715-05:002013-01-08T18:05:55.715-05:00No medical treatment is risk free. But I think for...No medical treatment is risk free. But I think for a long time, the risks of HRT were deliberately overstated to discourage people who weren't thought to fit a specific notion of who was "really" transexual. <br /><br />IANAD, but insulin is far more dangerous than estrogen. An overdose of estrogen is unlikely to cause any clinically significant symptoms, but might increase risk of a blood clot. OTOH, an overdose of insulin will trigger hypoglycemia 100% of the time, a medical emergency that requires immediate treatment. <br /><br />There are indeed legitimate and reputable "grey market" sources for HRT meds, but the problems remain of knowing what to get, where to get it from, how to administer it effectively, what to expect, and what the risks really are. <br /><br />IMO that's why it's best to work with a doctor through an informed consent program, if you're lucky enough to live close to a place that does that.<br /><br />Just sayin. :)<br /><br />Marcy<br />mtoal8882https://www.blogger.com/profile/17007550678827965166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-48906459224532603552013-01-08T12:50:55.694-05:002013-01-08T12:50:55.694-05:00Hi Michelle,
Your hair is always awesome! :) I wi...Hi Michelle,<br /><br />Your hair is always awesome! :) I wish sometimes I still had long hair.<br /><br />I'm sorry that you're still getting so much pushback from your ex and kids. I understand that you can't turn your back on them, but I question if it is wise to hang out and do stuff at your ex's house as much as you seem to. I<br />hated going to my ex's house - it used to me my house too! Way too many old ghosts, so I avoided it as much as possible. Can you find a way to enjoy seeing your kids on different turf, where you're not reminded so much of grief and loss?<br /><br />Yeah, the last few days before your next shot you can get really crabby, a common symptom of running low on E. It seems to magnify other stressors. Recently I had a really hard time due to some work hassles the last few days<br />before a dose, and it bothered me way more than it should have.<br /><br />Injections gives a pretty steady E level but it still peaks and declines over the duration. The only way to know how much is to get a blood test though. I have hard lots of people dosing weekly to avoid the dips. I'd rather not<br />do that as it is quite literally a pain in the a$$ but I plan to start dosing every 10 days instead of 14.<br /><br />Good luck!<br /><br />Marcy<br />mtoal8882https://www.blogger.com/profile/17007550678827965166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-67508006928339309652012-12-22T02:58:11.368-05:002012-12-22T02:58:11.368-05:00Well, congratulations on giving yourself the shot....Well, congratulations on giving yourself the shot. See? It's not so bad. And as you said, you forget your pills sometimes, it's a lot easier to remember every 2 weeks. See if you notice getting cranky, starting day 11-12 though, I've been dealing with that and have thought about dividing my dose as you described (10mg/.5ml/week)<br />mtoal8882https://www.blogger.com/profile/17007550678827965166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-10445925693269014072012-12-04T02:04:20.289-05:002012-12-04T02:04:20.289-05:00Well, it's not so much you need a thicker skin...Well, it's not so much you need a thicker skin, I'm just hoping you don't just take crap like that, for any reason, without at least trying to stick up for yourself. I think you will feel better if you do.<br /><br />Let me tell you little story about not taking crap though it has nothing to do with the trans. I work IT as well. I stopped in one of our offices and this one secretary for the 1000th time made the tired joke of "Oh, what are you going to break today?" I bet you hear that crap too. <br /><br />I kinda let her have it a little bit. Not in an unprofessional manner mind you, but more like "Look, I work hard to maintain these systems, not sabotage them. They're complicated, and sometimes I do get things wrong, but I'm still pretty good at what I do here. I don't appreciate it when you say stuff like that, and I want you to stop it." <br /><br />On a different topic... see? You had some win at the drug store and at the dinner party. It's not just me cheerleading you here. You're passing, and that's awesome, and you deserve serious props for how far you've come. I couldn't even say I'd look halfway as decent, but I'm not really even trying yet... though I did have my first LHR appt today. Zap.<br /><br />Again IMO what it comes down to is people who knew you "from before" either haven't had enough time to wrap their heads around things, or are being just plain mean or stubborn about it. <br /><br />I know this is one of the things that holds me back... it's not the people I don't know, it's the people that I *do* know. Transition is not an everyday thing for muggles, they don't understand. Shoot, I don't even understand. And I suspect, the closer to one's inner circle, the more difficult it is. And it's a cheap shot for the haters.<br /><br />As far as your creeper at the restaurant, I'm glad to hear your waitress friend didn't out you. Perv-man probably found you on FB or google or even found this blog after shoulder-surfing your boyname from your credit card imprint or something, and overhearing your girlname, and putting two and two together. <br /><br />Can you get *his* name? Then you've turned the tables a bit. Either way, he deserves no more of your attention.<br /><br />But really, combine the risks of perverts/chasers like the jacka$$ at the restaurant with feeling vulnerable from thugs out on the street... trans folk have a little more to worry about than most folks. I understand I think what you mean that it seems "neat" to find yourself in a more "feminine" mindset, but just be resolved to not take crap laying down. Get some pepper spray or something if you're out walking around the seedy side of town. Chance favors the prepared. :)<br />mtoal8882https://www.blogger.com/profile/17007550678827965166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-71278505153998940892012-12-02T15:25:33.368-05:002012-12-02T15:25:33.368-05:00Well, I watched them all. :)
It occurs to me, tha...Well, I watched them all. :)<br /><br />It occurs to me, that being trans is simple. You're born that way and it never goes away. It's the transitioning that's hard. There's no place society for people who are trans, no roadmap of how to be trans, and nothing that muggles can relate to. It sucks. I've only stuck my toe in the water, you're out almost full time and I shudder at the thought of dealing with suck factor you're having to put up with.<br /><br />One thing that sucks is of haters like that jerk at the timeclock. I wouldn't say they were invalidating you, as much as I would say that person is simply a bigot who wants to feel big by making someone else small. Nobody else in the room even said a peep did they? I am sure psychologists have a term for that phenomenon: Nobody wants to get involved... nobody cares enough... complicity maybe? I don't know. But most people could care less that you're transitioning because they just want the freaking timeclock fixed so they can punch out and go home. That's both good and bad. While nobody stuck up for you, hopefully nobody else joined in the cat calling. It's up to you, to borrow the quote from Tyrion Lannister, to find the strength and confidence to "wear it like armour" and don't let these a-holes get you down. You can still stick up for yourself, though. Next time tell that moron to shut their trap or something.<br /><br />Another thing that sucks is social inertia. Like you said, the muggles just don't get it. Didn't you say you boyfailed when you presented at the ER, but only got the dirty stares after you showed them your (male) id? Didn't you say you got odd looks in the highway rest stop men's room? Your girlfriend at the front counter was being honest... probably more because she knew you as a guy for so long it's hard to think about you otherwise, and less of because of how you look. Eventually she'll flip that in her head, and it will be "Oh I forgot you used to be a guy" and there will be lolz and hifives for everyone. mtoal8882https://www.blogger.com/profile/17007550678827965166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-66970645672429780632012-11-28T21:49:09.922-05:002012-11-28T21:49:09.922-05:00@Practically
Yes, actually my endo was very surpri...@Practically<br />Yes, actually my endo was very surprised when we started 2 1/2 years ago. Within 6 months on estradiol, both my numbers were well within the female ranges. I am not expecting any more big changes. Not sure I even need to up my dose. My endo keeps telling me that once I have surgery, the estradiol will be less important.Michelle Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03974476216062970448noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-69724464009717912612012-11-28T21:05:06.640-05:002012-11-28T21:05:06.640-05:00Are your E and T levels OK?
At least for me inje...Are your E and T levels OK? <br /><br />At least for me injections are the way to go. I was on the patch for my first year of HRT. These have worked well for others but my E levels never got anywhere near where they were supposed to be based on the dose I was taking.<br /><br />So, in July I switched to injections, and it's made a huge difference, verified by both subjective experience and by lab results :) While it's definitely easier if someone helps you (my GF does it for me bless her heart) I've done it myself in the thigh a couple times and it's not really that big a deal. My schedule is 20mg per 2 wks so it's also a lot more convenient.<br /><br />mtoal8882https://www.blogger.com/profile/17007550678827965166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-18120879233543642552012-11-27T16:55:52.853-05:002012-11-27T16:55:52.853-05:00Hey Michelle
I am new to your blog (having found y...Hey Michelle<br />I am new to your blog (having found you on the internet when searching for resources to help me understand when a dear friend of mine came out as transgender).<br />I just wanted to tell you that I really admire your honesty, courage and determination to be the real you. <br />It can't have been an easy journey to date, and no doubt there will be many more bumps along the way, and I wanted to thank you for your honest account (be it good or bad) as this will help me support my friend through the changes to come. <br />I wont lie to you, it is hard to understand it all, and I expect that I wont ever really fully understand, but your blog helps me to see that the obstacles (whatever they may be) CAN be overcome, with the love and support of those closest to you.<br />Keep your chin up and keep going hun... you are doing great work here.<br /><br />Fiona Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-13684010143405399912012-11-26T02:04:24.766-05:002012-11-26T02:04:24.766-05:00I hope you were able to enjoy thanksgiving, and di...I hope you were able to enjoy thanksgiving, and didn't have to deal with being hassled. The holidays can be stressful enough, without adding that to it.mtoal8882https://www.blogger.com/profile/17007550678827965166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-11328363880123113552012-11-07T15:46:41.444-05:002012-11-07T15:46:41.444-05:00Where is the truth????????????? Where is Collee...Where is the truth????????????? Where is Colleen Francis telling everybody that she was NOT exposed in ANY way while in the women's locker room???? Where is her statement telling us that she does NOT let her male parts be seen in a designated female space????? <br /><br />WHERE IS IT!!!!! <br /><br />I am certainly waiting and if that is the case, then ALL my comments disappear.Michelle Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03974476216062970448noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-83193315211276519682012-11-07T13:41:55.584-05:002012-11-07T13:41:55.584-05:00And the truth is still not out, in any form. It is...And the truth is still not out, in any form. It is coming out soon though. People are still completely jumping to a lot of conclusions without any actual facts about what happened that day. There is actually quite a large network of people and organizations who are helping with this effort for truth. Everyone is seeing just one side of the "story" for at this point it's just that, a "story." However, the facts, the reality, will be available for everyone soon.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-49927982677066108752012-11-05T17:07:40.160-05:002012-11-05T17:07:40.160-05:00Having doen a little research on this, What I have...Having doen a little research on this, What I have found out is the guys is taht jut a guy. One report showed that he had a profile on a BDSM site in whihc he stated he was kinky and perverted and like watchin women and girls. In one report he point blanki stated he has no intention of acctually doing a sex change. Waht isee here is a pervert using a loop hole to follow his perversion. In my view he is doning nothing but harm to all involved including those who really are trandgednered and pre-op. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-5628502091222329132012-11-03T03:05:56.038-04:002012-11-03T03:05:56.038-04:00I know you want access to your kids, and I know I ...I know you want access to your kids, and I know I don't know the whole story, but is there any way you can distance yourself from her? Or at least avoid these "talking with the ex" moments? Cause, she seems to know right where to put the knife. <br /><br />The "is there any of the old you in there" comment is probably one of the meanest things I can imagine. It's hard to get enthused about halloween or anything for that matter if you're surrounded by people who make you feel like sh*t.mtoal8882https://www.blogger.com/profile/17007550678827965166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-30549605456480666882012-10-26T10:30:42.438-04:002012-10-26T10:30:42.438-04:00Thank you so much Becca for your honest and no non...Thank you so much Becca for your honest and no nonsense support. Yes, you are right and I AM getting closer to the point where I just tell them all "take me as I am, or lose me completely". Not sure if you saw my later video, but it really does help to get it out so I can hear it over again and realize that it is NOT always so bad. Again, thank you for your "big sister, snap out of it" advice. It is well received.Michelle Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03974476216062970448noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-18076041537198097102012-10-26T07:39:30.421-04:002012-10-26T07:39:30.421-04:00Michelle - what is this normal you talk about - so...Michelle - what is this normal you talk about - some statistical mythical person you are comparing yourself against ? Do you not think as you drive past these people doing 'normal' things they are likely to be having their own issues they are struggling to deal with ? Don't think I don't understand what you are getting at with the normal comment either - I understand, sadly, all too well but wishing and hoping never worked for me - there has to come a time when you just have to accept the cards dealt and get on with it.<br /><br />You have not been blessed at birth as you wished but you are dealing with that - it sounds to me that to the vast proportion of the population see you now as a woman. What's happening is that you are not accepting who you are - you are seeing differences that very few others do - and the numbers must be dropping - you don't look like a bloke anymore.<br /><br />As for your family - its seems to me that you are trying to hold on to a life that's no longer there. You are trying so so hard to help your ex and your kids through this but at what cost to yourself and your own self esteem. I just think that taking this constant implied criticism from your family over and over again is just reinforcing a view that you have no value - and to be frank that's just rubbish.<br /><br />I am being impertinent - and for that I apologise - tell me to go away, delete this message but you seem to have abdicated so much control to others and you are allowing yourself to be punished whenever you overstep a mark that's been chosen by others. At what point do you let go and say..... this is me, take me or leave me? At what point do you stop feeling so guilty for something you had to do ?<br /><br />I hope you don't take offence, I can't tell you how much I empathise with your situationBeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14342124169953960479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-25126137787049366952012-10-25T02:39:35.920-04:002012-10-25T02:39:35.920-04:00Hi! So. . .um. . . I think I know a little bit abo...Hi! So. . .um. . . I think I know a little bit about the topic you are speaking about here, and I think that while you are obviously genuine and a truly wonderful woman, I feel that you may be basing some things on pure assumption. I would welcome an email chat with you, if you are willing. I am not out to challenge you in any way, however, of all the people I have heard talk about this topic, you seem like the one without an axe to grind. I do hope I am correct in assuming that, also. Anyway, if willing, please. . .is there a way to contact you electronically without showing off my email address to the entire world? I don't believe that I am ready for that yet. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-30288522966846788152012-10-24T01:34:03.382-04:002012-10-24T01:34:03.382-04:00I wish I could say I had some answers for you, as ...I wish I could say I had some answers for you, as I've been struggling with many of the same problems myself. Please know that your story here has been encouraging to at least one other person. Thanks, and please don't give up.mtoal8882https://www.blogger.com/profile/17007550678827965166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-88306124487968886812012-09-25T17:00:58.534-04:002012-09-25T17:00:58.534-04:00For some reason this post is getting a LOT of view...For some reason this post is getting a LOT of views???? Michelle Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03974476216062970448noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-67897494535211810052012-09-16T23:04:42.698-04:002012-09-16T23:04:42.698-04:00Hey Girl, you look fantastic. I simply love your d...Hey Girl, you look fantastic. I simply love your dress and shoes, So Hot!. And you have fabulous hair!!. I'm so jealous. Hugs, JuliaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-16331252466449069262012-09-06T08:14:34.770-04:002012-09-06T08:14:34.770-04:00Also the idea that those at the lower levels on th...Also the idea that those at the lower levels on the Benjamin scale tend to deligitamize us. Especially when they insist on using the ladies room sporting a badly fitting cheap wig and 3-day beard.<br /><br />Ciao!<br />SarahSarah Wilsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13018597739320720216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-38145412697319354592012-05-14T12:09:57.028-04:002012-05-14T12:09:57.028-04:00Being yourself, whatever that means is the goal. A...Being yourself, whatever that means is the goal. A blog is a wonderful place to share your thoughts. It is good to remind yourself that you don't owe anyone another post. <br /><br />All the best Michelle and thank you for all those good thoughts.Hallehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03847654451426257182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3301903742106059792.post-91529416880369145112012-02-23T04:39:05.011-05:002012-02-23T04:39:05.011-05:00I just stumbled across your Blog, and watched your...I just stumbled across your Blog, and watched your videos a few times before.<br />I know it's a snap judgement, but you're not worthless, and you should never think there's not family that cares. They are growing up or having to get used to you. Either way You're never going to be nothing to them. Just remember from time to time it's upto you as much as them to keep that line of communication open. I know my family is awful. They hate, and curse, and tell me never to talk to them, and yet they always talk to me. Two way conversations are very hard to find in life, and so you may have to let them call you, and make conversations with you, but if they don't it's upto you. I hope you'll have a great week. Sorry for the first comment to be so-long. I'll be around.SydneyAnnaBloomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16318066444208559088noreply@blogger.com