Friday, April 9, 2010

Why do I like girl things????

I have resisted shopping for the past few weeks because it really feels like I am wasting money buying things for Michelle. I bought a new coat and sweater a month ago because it was cold and now I am thinking that I have no summer clothes to wear. Then I argue with myself because it feels like I should get back to reality and take care of the summer things for my family. I really wanted a pair of cute shorts that are NOT guy shorts. I have to hide my feet when I am home because my toes are painted. Can I really give up this simple freedom and be happy with hairy legs and plain toes?? What the hell is wrong with me!!!!!!! I am so tired of feeling trapped by my girl feelings. These are all stupid physical things. Painting my toes and shaving my arms and legs does not make me a girl. It just seems like a very destructive fantasy.

By the way, I did find a really cute pair of shorts that are definitely not guy. They are 2 tone tan with a pattern and cute cuffs and a belt. I really like them, I just cannot bring myself to take off the tags because I really should take them back to the store.


Laura said...

I can say that I do to feel trapped by my femmine stuff. I have to hide it when I have some family come over so they dont know. I would be running around my house putting stuff up so my family dont know about it. In my family we aren't to be doing this kind of thing due to how people look at us.

lindabeth said...

"Painting my toes and shaving my arms and legs does not make me a girl."

Sure, those don't make you a girl, but they are legitimate expressions of your femininity. They are symbols expressing how you feel inside. Don't apologize for them!

Anonymous said... try this site out for understanding the sex/orgasm/arousal/dopamine cycle. You also might check out Daniel Amen's work. Both these sites can assist you in understanding the brain neurotransmitter relationship that exacerbates your struggle. Getting your neurotransmitters/dopamine levels under control might not make the gender issues disappear.. but help you in dealing with them..

someone who can relate a bit...

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