Saturday, July 24, 2010

Random whining

Thank you Claire. I have been seeing a therapist for 6 years now. She specializes in trans and has been very helpful. I also went to a neutral therapist and right away she discovered my abandonment issues, my crappy childhood, my obsessive tendencies etc... My wife was excited because she finally thought that we could figure out the "real" issue. Believe me there are other issues at work here but it only took 4 months for this second therapist to label me as trans. Of course this was devastating for my wife. At this point, I am not looking for blame, fault or reasons.

I am just terrified that neither life can give me everything that I need.

I love my kids and my wife but Bob and Michelle can't seem to exist together. My wife insists that I am choosing Michelle over her and the life that we have built. Her therapist is constantly telling her that I have no choice being trans but I have all the choice in how I decide manage these feelings. It is completely up to me whether or not I can "put Michelle on the shelf and only take her out on occasion".


Claire L Hallam said...

I left this a week, before commenting, but it seems you're in a better place than the real down of earlier. keep working at it honey! We all get where we need to be in the end!

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