Tuesday, August 2, 2011

We told the kids about me................

So things didn't go as bad as we thought they would. The girls are still not sure how to handle it but we need to give them a few days to let it sink in. My oldest is really quiet and not really talking to me. She says that this is something that will lose them their friends and they will be hurt by this. She is genuinely afraid for herself and her sisters. My middle daughter is not happy at all about it. She says she will never want to see me as Michelle. The whole idea is somehow disgusting to her. She is not really disgusted with me but she says that it is gross to her and she does not understand how anyone could try to change their gender. She is the one that scares me because I am deathly afraid that she may have some of the same feelings about being a girl. She is very much a tomboy / jock and I wonder if she just might have some of these same feelings. My youngest was the biggest shock of all. She started crying and ran off twice during our discussion. She kept crying and finally told me that she was upset because she and the girls are always telling me to cut my hair and now she feels bad about it. She also said that she is upset because "daddy can't be who he wants to be". She really surprised both of us.

Now my big question is: "what do I do now?" My wife says that things need to go slow with the girls. I am not going to force them to see me as Michelle. I am running into a wall right now. My friend at work tells me that she is sick of my issues. She says I cry all the time and I am more miserable than I was when there was no Michelle. She does not want to hear about it anymore. I guess she is right. Nothing seems to move forward and nothing changes.


April said...

Dear Michelle,

Telling your children IS a big step forward.

I have three daughters and it was a very difficult thing to do. They see me as April much of the time now and are accepting. However I have yet to go full time when all their friends will eventually find out.

I hope you and your spouse can work together to help them adjust.



Becca said...

There was always going to come a point when they had to know - and I am sure in their position I would be confused - and perhaps react accordingly. I hope that you and your wife can work it through with them so that they know that you will still be there for them and still love them every bit as much as you did before.

It must have been hard for you to deal with the stress leading up to this and this must affect your mood so much. I hope that over the coming weeks things calm down and you can start to see possibilities and hapiness and not uspet in the weeks ahead.


Anonymous said...

You need to get a new "friend" at work.....Friends dont act like that....unlike sisters who love you no matter what or for how long it takes !!!! Love you Beautiful!!!

Anonymous said...

Time will bring acceptance. Everyone in there own time.
You should be commended for your love and dedication to your family. But, where does Michelle fit into the picture, she is confined to a very short period of time. The decision was made to become Michelle. So live it. Your vacation should be for Michelle out of town. Away from the stress. It is amazing when you leave a situation how refreshing it can be, and I think Michelle would enjoy her time.

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